Friday, December 11, 2015

OSF Update #3: I'm not going to do it.

I was asked "when" I'm going to post before and after pictures.

If you've been waiting with bated breath, it's not going to happen.

I have a lot of thoughts on the subject. I might be wrong in every way. I'm wrong a lot, but I'm so over body shaming of any kind. "You're too thin." "You're too fat."  Photos only encourage that.

I've said this over and over. I define myself in terms of my personality traits: I'm confident, creative, intelligent, caring, freaking hilarious, etc.

1.) I never did this for physical appearance reasons. I did this to become a better runner. That's it.

2.) Posting pictures is always followed up with well meaning, "You LOOK GREAT!" "You look beautiful...." blah blah blah. I find those comments insulting and not at all complimentary.  Why? Because who the fuck cares what you think about how I look? I know you're trying to be nice, but I don't need that. My confidence comes from inside.

And yes....on more than one occasion, Mr. Tea has told me I'm too blunt with people.

3.) Why would I post pictures? Again, why do YOU care what I look like? It's my body. I'm the only one who needs to even think about it.  I've found that when people post pictures on social media, other people get into the comparison mindset. "She's bigger than I thought." "She's smaller than I thought". "She could still stand to lose a few." "I could do that too". "She should eat a sandwhich". Consider this: I'm doing you favor. You can believe that I've lost weight. You can believe that I've dropped minutes off my mile pace. You can believe that I've gained power on the bike.  OR, you don't......but NO picture is going to prove any of that.

4.) There is no such thing as Before and After. There is no AFTER. There is continuing momentum toward my goals. When one goal is accomplished, I move on to the next. There is no finish line.

What I have gained from having a nutritionist goes FAR beyond weight loss. THOSE are the things that are most important to me. I want to be the best athlete I can be. That requires a fueling strategy. It requires intense training. It requires recovery. It requires rest and sleep. Losing weight is a very small piece of that.

I don't know where this is all going to lead me, but it's my journey. My closest friends understand. That's all that really matters.

I've said my peace.

If you are absolutely dying for those before and "after" pictures, you can look at my FB pictures from Nationals on 8/9 and then compare them to pictures from my 2016 season. I'm sure I will post race pictures. If you want to spend your time looking through my photos, have at it.