Tuesday, January 6, 2015

On the edge

I have accomplished more than I thought was possible. Now, it's time for me to focus on the things I thought were impossible.

Today, again, I had one of those workouts, strength work disguised as a brick. The end result was 2:05 of running, biking, strength, biking, strength, biking, strength, biking, strength, biking, strength, biking, running.

I've learned to hit the next thing quickly. before my mind has time to grasp what is going on. Before my brain can say, "oh shit. This is too hard."

Every set is hard.
Move fast.
Be a machine.

I move from lunges to pushups to squats to side plank to lunges to plank. GO GO GO, drop, don't think. DO it before you realize what you're doing. Now Hold it. Hold that plank. NEVER look at the watch! Go past the shaking. That sweat is your old self leaking out through your pores.

Do you feel the pain? It's your own. Embrace it. Love it. Are you tired? Do you want to quit?


Good job. You did it. Now get back on the bike.

When it's time to run, I visualize. I visualize racing. I see a woman ahead of me. I want to over take her. It's one thing to want it. It's another to do it. Are you willing to go to that place?

I imagine getting passed with less than a half a mile to go. I can see her age on her calf. I visualize speeding up to catch her. I imagine running harder that I ever had. I can feel the pain in my lungs and in my legs. But this right here. right now is worth it.

Every time I visualize I'm in 25th place. 25th. I need to be higher than 25th to qualify for the World Championships. One second faster, I make Team USA. One second slower, I don't. THAT level of desperation. THAT close to being on edge is what I need to make this happen.

Every day. Over and over, I go through these racing moments. I can feel 26th on my back and 24th is just out of my reach. The only way to catch her is to be willing to go there, drop the plan and run like hell.

Every day, I'm training through different levels of pain. Each time, I'm going harder, faster. Because this is not going to be easy.

The only way for me to get there is go after those women. One at a time, and race like I'm in 25th.