Saturday, May 29, 2010

I'm not Flabby. I'm just Flat.

NOOOOOO!!!! She screamed at me trying to lurch backward and throwing my balance off as we slowly climbed the stairs.

Yes, you need to get outside! I grunted as I grabbed her around the neck and lifted her front end up, avoiding the drag up the stairs.

It's too bright! The sun hurts my eyes. Let me just stay in the basement. We can watch movies. You like watching movies. She started crying.

I hate when she does that to me. All winter we watch movies together, never worrying about the weather outside or what we need to wear.

Finally, we get to the stop of the stairs. Gasping I sit her in the corner staring at her. "We have to do it. You LIKE to do it. You just haven't been outside in 7 months. I bet all your friends are out there. "

No one else has to go outside.Besides, I'm SO outa shape. I'm flabby. Look I need to be cleaned.

I don't care, and I don't want to hear it anymore. We're going no matter what.

I grabbed my garmin edge and snapped it into place.

OWWWW! She howled. Why'd you go and do that?

Because I know how you are. You won't give any effort unless you have a friendly reminder to pick up the pace.

I grabbed the water bottle. She's just being ridiculous, I thought to myself. It's just the first ride of the year. She's acting like I'm making her do a century.

I slammed the water bottle into the holder. Water splashed up all over me.

NOW look what you did! I'm all wet!

For goodness sakes, please shut up! You'll dry the minute we head out.

pfffffffft. pffffffft.

Did you just let the air out of your tires?

No....must have been that burrito I ate last night.

I gently squueze the front tire.  Flat.  I feel the back tire. Flat. Ugh. Wait right here.

I pumped up both tires and turn and look at her. See? You aren't flabby. You just needed air in your tires.

What if I don't remember where to go or how to turn or climb or go fast or deal with traffic.

Now you're just being silly. I responded. You can't forget. It's just like riding a......