I woke up this morning really melancholy. I woke up missing relationships. It's not that I don't have wonderful people in my life. But I don't think there's anything wrong with missing aspects of others.
I miss the closeness of some of them. I've had (what feels) like a lot of people leaving my life. I know it's not a lot, it's just that they were people that I was close to or were beginning to be close to.
Jenny is gone. Mike is gone. My entire training group from the last year 2 years dissolved.
It just feels like a lot. I feel lost.
It doesn't matter why or how those things ended. It's the loss of having those people in my life. People who I can laugh with during hard training or races. Or email my crazy ideas. People who don't take it personally if I'm in a bad mood and don't mind listening to me ramble on about some business thing I want to do. It's not just about me either. I miss hearing about their lives. I want to know about their races and their families and their work problems.
It's more than just missing the relationship. I miss the people. I miss road tripping with them. I was thinking about my 70.3. That would have been so perfect for a road trip group. Instead, I'll be making the drive there on my own.
I miss them.
If I could, I would ask: Do you miss me? Or am I just a big baby?