Saturday, August 16, 2014

The power around me

Tonight is the night before my race. While I was out doing my pre-race workouts this morning, I was thinking about how fortunate I am now.

You all know about my issues at the beginning of this year. I was devastated after losing some many friends in such a short period of time. Some happened because of HUGE blow ups. Some happened because they moved away. Some happened because of significant health problems.

All in all, I lost people that I trained with several times a week, and I lost the person who (at the time) was my best friend.

Looking back now, I think if it had been just one person, I would have been able to handle things better. Several, put me over the edge.

For a long time, I felt like I had no one. I know. I had people in my life. But to go through some of the situations that I went through, I can't really explain how I felt except to say that I felt so I had been abandoned.

Here I was heading into my first 70.3 in so so long, and I had no one to get through the training with.

Over time, that hurt goes away. I still have days where I'll get mad about something, but it's much less often now.

I was walking down to the reservoir this morning, and I realized how full my life has become since that time.

I feel surrounded by people who support, love & believe in me. The numbers are smaller, but they hold more power.

They helped me go from such a sad, lonely place to a place where I feel like I can accomplish anything.

I don't want to call out anyone here because you know who you are.

Thank you for your support. Thank you for letting me have the opportunity to vent, repeatedly. Thank you for putting up with me during a really hard time. Thank you for giving me my space when I needed it. Thank you for being my biggest cheer leader.

Most of all, thank you for your honesty and making me laugh when I didn't think I could laugh.

Because of you, I feel like I own this shit.