Saturday, June 20, 2009

Now THIS is good stuff

Over the years, I've been fortunate to run into some of the cheesiest guys around. We've had the Mr. Cheese--the goldchain porno-watching-in-the-steam-room guy. We've had the arrogant Ironman who told me "Oh I did CDA before they made it easier."

Those were just my favorites.

Today, I got to meet Mr. Tanline. The pool was quite full when I arrived. I noticed three men standing at the edge of their pools. I thought I would join one of them before they got started. Lucky for me, one of them was just leaving. HE was talking to a guy in another lane. I tried to ignore the conversation, but the guy in the lane was talking at such a volume, it was clear that he wanted EVERYONE to hear what he had to say. So, I listened while getting ready. This guy went on and on about the fact that he is a TRIATHLETE and he has an awesome TRIBIKE. People are always stopping him on the road asking him when his next race is.

I am not kidding.

So, I'm thinking, "Ok, this guy is a total noob." He probably went out and bought all the gear before even doing a race.

I start swimming. When I stopped for the break between my speed sessions, he turns to me and says, oh you (dear reader) need the visual.....y'know when someone is talking to you and looking over a pair of glasses? That look? OK, he was looking at me like that and says, "I see you have the triathlete's suntan." Then he turns and points to his back and says, "So do I. You get that from being aero."

Can't you just hear the bowchickabowbow music playing?

I mumble something about being the triathlete's tatoo. I see him mull it over for a second and start laughing.

I think the best response was how his arse got CHICKED a few minutes later when I kept beating his butt up and down the lanes.

Now who's the triathlete?