Friday, June 19, 2015
The pressure to be great has become all consuming for me. I put this pressure on myself. I must free myself from the pressure of being GREAT (ie making a certain amount of money, climbing the biggest mountains, being the fastest person in your age group, qualifying for a particular race). Somehow, I've gotten away from accepting my average regular self.
To accomplish the great things we can accomplish, we need to accept ourselves as we are. Where I am and where I want to be are two different places. Where I am right now is not a bad place. It's a good place.
Think about it. Have you ever put pressure on yourself to hit a certain pace? A certain time goal? I have. In my recent races, I want to believe I'm faster than I am. I set goals based on what I want to be. The pressure is subtle but deep. It constricts us. It restricts us from being great. I miss the goals because I have so much pressure to perform to those standards. If I just let myself be.....I could accomplish so much more.
When we accept who we are at any particular point in our life, that's when we are free. The pressure of thinking about being great is gone.
This is where I am now; after months of struggling with it. I put too much pressure on myself to accomplish certain things.
Yesterday at the track, it hit me. I was the only one there. I was the only one who knew what I just did. I didn't go into the workout thinking "I have to hit these goals." No one knew, and if they did.....they wouldn't even care.
Instead, I went into it, thinking, "I'm just going to run. I don't know what I can do. I'm going to do the workout. The times will be what they will be."
It's easy to fall into the trap.
Now, I'm going to climb out of it.