I have a few (very) long time readers. People who have followed me from an old forum to my first blog to this one. If you are in that group, you might remember this story.
I have been running for a very long time. Many years ago, about 20, I started a light yoga program. I bought videos and did what I could at home.
At one point, I had a minor accident that resulted in a fractured heel. I went to a sports doctor, who I thought I could trust.....I mean really a sports doctor would do anything to help someone get back to running, right?
When I asked this doctor when I could run again, he said, "Run?! You'll never walk again without pain. You won't ever run again".
Running was everything for me. I had two sons, Mr. Tea, and a job that required a ton of travel (across the US and internationally). Running was the only real time I had for myself.
Believe it or not. I wasn't discouraged by what he said. In fact, what I thought to myself was, "That's bullshit".
There's more to that story about how I recovered. This post isn't about that.
I went home. Walking was incredibly painful. I was doing the light yoga. I decided to throw myself into a more significant yoga program.
I had read a lot about the healing ability of yoga. I believed that yoga was going to help me get through it. I did it daily. Some days, I only did 15 minutes. Some days I did 1.5 hours. Some days, I did two shorter routines, but I did it every day.
It took two years. Two years, and I did my first pain free run. During that time, through yoga, I'd learned how to be in the moment. We don't know what the future will hold. The past is done and can't be changed. The only thing we can change or be is the moment we are in.
The accident above is also what led me to triathlon.
As my interest in triathlon grew and the training hours increased, I slowly dropped out of my yoga routine.
For a couple of months, I have been struggling personally. In a way, I have felt lost, like I don't have a purpose.
Several months back, I started working with Jyoti, a sports massage therapist. He is absolutely fantastic. At one point, he asked me if I do yoga. I told him that I did many years ago. He said, "Good. Then, you'll be familiar with the homework I'm going to give you".
He then showed me a number of poses that he wanted me to do at home to help regain flexibility and improve my posture and mobility. He worked with me to show me how to adjust moves to my current ability.
All of the poses were yoga poses. Of course, I had to adjust many (and by many I mean all) of the poses because of my lack of flexibility.
He asked me to spend at least 15 minutes a day working on the poses.
15 minutes. That's a commitment I can make.
For months now, I have been doing these basic yoga movements. This past month, I started adding more moves.
I have been re-learning how to breathe and focus on relaxing the muscles (or as Jyoti says "image butter melting in a pan". Who doesn't love butter?)
In doing this, I have found what I lost: being in the moment. Taking a breath and focusing only on the breath.
This time is allowing my subconscious thoughts to come to the forefront without forcing the issue.
This morning I woke up at 4:30, wide awake.
I woke up, and I realized what had been missing from my life over the past months.
I knew what I had to do to change it.
I no longer felt lost.
I, once again, have a purpose.