Thursday, February 2, 2017


I had two workouts this week that didn't go well.

The run didn't go well because I didn't trust myself.

I have no idea why the bike didn't go well.

After the bike workout, I thought about it for the rest of the day.

I got mad. Really mad. More like fucking pissed.

I thought about the people who have underestimated me.

The people who didn't respect me as an athlete. The people who only saw me as I was, not as what I could be.

Oh. I was mad. When I get mad at myself, I don't cave. I don't give up. I dig in.

That wasn't going to happen again.

I did my strength workout with a new level of determination. This is the stuff no ones sees on Strava. They see workouts, but they don't see the frustration that can go along with workouts. They don't see the emotion of a success. Strava, race times are simply an end product. They don't tell you about the fight a person went through to get there.

As I was strength training, I once again thought about Secretariat.

“He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength, and charges into the fray. He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; he does not shy away from the sword. The quiver rattles against his side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground; he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds."
Job 39:19-25” 

Whatever I was doing before isn't good enough.

Training with intention