Monday, September 14, 2015

The want, the drive & the why

A few years back, I was picking up my race packet for an olympic distance race. At the same time and location, there was packet pick up for the Harvest Moon 70.3.  To this day, I remember seeing those athletes picking up their packets and getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I knew I wasn't ready to go back to that distance.

Over the weekend, I was riding part of the same course. When I passed the run signs, I became really excited about next season.

I am ready.

Being "ready" means something different for everyone.

What it does not mean (for me), and has NEVER meant, is thinking that I'm NOT capable of doing a 70.3.  What it has always meant is the really important things in my life are at a point where I can train happily. I'm not talking about waiting for the perfect moment. Training for the 70.3 is tough. It's like having a baby. There's never a perfect time. But, I knew that there are times that are better than others. I want to make sure that my work life, my personal life could handle the stress. In addition to that, I wanted to make sure that my head was also in the right place.

For so many years, you have heard me say, "I don't want to do it. I'm not ready for it."

I knew when those things came together, I would want to race it again, and I'd be ready for it.

Recently, I have learned how much I want to do this.

I've looked at myself honestly. I've looked at where I need to change my attitude. I know where I need to take training more seriously.

Most importantly, I looked at my nutrition, fueling & weight. Where I want to be and where I am aren't the same places. I know I have to drop weight to get there. I'm holding myself back, particularly, on the run for the simple fact of carrying around extra body fat.

I think I'm more driven, right now, going into next year than I have ever been.  Every single run I treat as the most important work out of the week. I look at every meal and snack and think about the choices I'm making and how it will help me get where I want to be.

You'll always read bloggers that talk about their "why". Why they do what they do. Why they are going long. You have to know your why. You have to believe and trust your why because it will be called into question when you least expect it. You need to be ready to answer.

What's my why?

Because I'm ready. Because I want it.