Sunday, May 12, 2013

If life gives you lemons, throw them at someone

I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to my long run.

Yea. Can you believe it? This coming from the "I WILL NEVER RUN A MARATHON EVER AGAIN"

I'm NOT training for a marathon, but the reason I hate them is because of the long run. I like long runs now.

HUGE change of attitude. 

I'm not even 10 lines into my post, and I'm already off topic.

The last 2 months have been extremely stressful for me. I've been surviving on so little sleep....I don't know how I'm even functioning. I'm been cranky/irritable/walking in a fog.

so much so that I'm SURE that the people closest to me think I've been PMS'ing for 2 month. 

No. I assure you. This isn't normal Tea behavior. YES. I have a dark side. Yes. I can be horribly sarcastic.

But, I think those are my GOOD points. 

I've covered that enough. You get it. 

Here we are. A week out from my first Olympic distance Tri since 2009. Most of you reading this, remember those days of the *struggle*, the struggle to finish.

I'm past that. I know I am.

BUT, the stress. The stress took a toll on my training. Over the past two months, I can probably count my bike rides on one hand. I've been really good with my swimming. Great in fact.

There have been runs that I've bailed get to a point and realize you don't have the energy to get home. Some people call it the "walk of shame". Walking is never shameful.

Still, I think I've done pretty well with my running.

I'm a week out from my race. I'm concerned. All I wanted was to do well this race, and now I regret signing up for it.

How am I going to do a race in which the ONE THING THAT I FEEL GOOD ABOUT might suck?

Train to your weakness. Race to your strengths.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but the run might just be my strength for this race. 

This is what I thought about during my long run. All of this.

I blathered on and on about why this race was going to suck, and it hasn't even happened yet.

That just got me really mad. WTH was I doing? Who's to say the race is going to suck? Yea. Maybe it will. Maybe I won't even come close to my goals. But that hasn't been determined yet. It won't be determined until every second of the race. Even then, it's up to me to decide if the race sucks, right?

Yea. My training hasn't been perfect. Yea. I've missed a number of bikes. 

BUT, I've killed it on the swims. I've worked my ass off in the pool. On Wed, I had straight up one solid hour worth of training from one of the master's swim coaches. She gave me detailed, miniscule changes to make. I won't be able to change anything by next weekend, but I CAN focus on my form. I CAN be aware of those changes during the race. I'm already a solid swimmer. But those changes have made me downright fast. 

All I have to do is focus.

And swim as F*CKING HARD AS I CAN.

So I've done very little riding and only TWO rides outside. It is what it is. But it's too early for me to just give up. Right?

Fine. I've missed a few workouts, but I've been training consistently for a year. That HAS to count for something, right?

All I have to do is focus.

And ride as F*CKING HARD AS I CAN.

What's it going to be like running a 10K after a swim and bike like that?




STOP analyzing everything. STOP IT. 

I was making excuses before I even started taper week.

Here we go....I'm going to work on my attitude this week.

And get ready for a GREAT race.

And This is for SOMEONE
Someone from whom I've learned a lot about perseverance and the importance of a great support network. You've got this LBTEPA.

 And THIS one is for ME. I hope Mr. Tea is ready for my race day playlist.