Sunday, April 28, 2013


I have this friend. We'll call him "Jeff".

Because that's his name.

And this blog is now PRIVATE. 

I'd like to give a shout out to my SIX followers.  Let's address that issue first. Why did I make my bog private?

As my company has grown, I've also found myself more and more in the public eye. Customers have been finding me on various social media. They've (somehow) found my personal email addresses and cell phone number. Over the past year, I've locked down everything. blog. I just forgot about it. 

In effort to protect myself and the company, I've decided that only people that I know should really have access to it. After all, I have been known to sling a few curse words around.

Back to "Jeff" who shall be known as just Jeff.

Jeff is one of the guys that I swim with, and he is the unoffical leader of our cycling group...which I have yet to actually show up for.

Yesterday, as Jeff was heading off to his ride, and I was heading off to swim, he says, "You are a BEAST." 

Of course, I rolled my eyes and said, "Jeff, I'm NOT a beast. I'm just Tea. Use that word for OTHER people. All I do I train the best I can. Sometimes I miss workouts, but I get 99% of them. I'm not the fastest person, but I'm not the slowest. It's taken me a year to get my long runs to a 10:30 pace. I don't think of myself like that. Really, I just take orders well. If Coach Mike tells me to do something, I'll do it. I don't even ask questions. In fact, I'm sometimes surprised that he hasn't fired me yet. I don't think that's how the BEAST population works. Oh, and I'm completely mental...most of the time. Seriously. You should read my blog. No.wait. Don't."

Of course, HE just laughed at me. Then he said, "Don't you get it? That's EXACTLY WHY you're a beast! BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVER GIVE UP! You just keep going. Nothing phases you. You have good races and bad races, good training and bad training, but you keep going. Don't think of it as a bad thing. Take it as a compliment."

Riiiiight.....because I take compliments SO easily.

With that little discussion on my mind, I woke up this morning ready for my 5 mile race. As I'm waiting for my race to start, I get an email. All it says in the subject line is:


So.Yea. I'm gonna get t-shirts made. Really, a KRACKEN is a Beast anyway. I've never really been far off the mark, right?

That email....along with a text from my most favoritist person in the whole wide world
and I was off for my 5 mile race. Is that creepy? Did you think I was talking about the cashier at Whole Foods? Because he's my BFF, as soon as they lift that restraining order, I'll tell him.

Those of you reading this know that I have been doing this race since the 1980's. I've had to miss a few due to travel or illness or that whole being pregnant thing. For the most part, I've done this race....a lot.

And, I suck at it. It's cool. I have a love/hate relationship with this race. I never run it fast. I always walk those ridiculously small hills and then tell everyone that the hills were GINORMOUS.

THEN, last year I ran my fastest time ever, coming in around 54:30.

I know I've gotten quite a bit faster over the past year. But THIS race. FOR GOODNESS SAKES...IT HATES ME.  

And every year, I go back for my ass-whupping.

Still, I was pretty confident that I was going to PR. 

And of course, I have my STRATEGY...that I ONCE AGAIN screwed up.  (I'm telling you. It's the RACE'S FAULT).

But nevermind all that. Here's my race report:
I ran 1.5 miles too hard.
I ran the next 1.5 miles, right about where I should have been. 
I thought I was going to pass out because of the first 1.5 miles.

You know when you yo-yo people? Well, there was this GUY with an IM Augusta shirt on. Everytime I passed him, a few minutes later he'd come running up really fast and stop to walk as soon as he got to me.

And he started walking a lot. 

You know me....being the motivational speaker that I am. I turned to him and said, "I bet you didn't walk the last mile at Augusta".

I almost called him "Punk", but then I thought it might be taken the wrong way.

But, It got him running....really hard. No "thank you". Not even a F*CK YOU. But whatever. You're welcome dude.

And what about me? 

How about an official time of 48:16?!  OH YES I DID! That's +6min PR for those of you keeping track.

So, I screwed up. WHATever. Next Saturday, I'm running an 8 mile race.

PR GUARANTEED....because I've never run an 8 mile race before.

I am SO ready for this.