Sunday, December 12, 2010

Are we there yet?

Week....
Week....hang on a minute, it's here somewhere.
Here it is: WEEK WTF in my marathon training.


Someone (who shall remain nameless) thought it would be a good....no GREAT....no, FUN idea to run a marathon in JANUARY when training would have to take place during a La nina winter in COLO-FREAKING-RADO. AND NO, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT LITTLE TOWN OF DENVER. 


Here I am! Less than a month to go and the only....I mean it....the ONLY reason I haven't quit is because I'm running it with Billy. It's much harder to quit when someone else is counting on you to be there.


hmmmm, I wonder if cheering him on counts as *being there*


Besides the cold
and the wind
and the HORRENDOUS HILLS


and the fact that every other week I have to run 25-28 miles on Sat and Sunday combined


MARATHON TRAINING IS A BLAST


woo.hoo.


Gimme my freaking medal now.


You all know that I'm not a marathoner.


Fine, I've finished my fair share. I have the medals.


but that was a long time ago.


There was a reason I stopped running marathon but the biggest reasons are 


the cold
the wind
the horrendous hills
and the fact that I have to run 20 miles every stinking SUNDAY. 


Do you know the last time I got to watch football? NO? ME EITHER. And Monday night doesn't count....nor sunday night.


Did I mention that Billy is probably going to leave me in the dust.


He'll be a gentleman about it. Don't get me wrong. Billy's the best. the Best Jerry, the best!


But ultimately, I'll be out there on the course, by myself crying and thinking of KayVee and Billy throwing back a few at the finish line.


Why? 


Because I can't hold a pace to save my life. I didn't run 20.37 miles today. I travelled 20.37 miles. 


don't tell me about taper.


don't talk to me about hills.


My ass hurts. My legs hurt. My back is just plain tired. My feet hurt. 


Which really begs the question:


This is supposed to be fun? 


really?


Now that the b!tch session is over (it is, I promise), I've had V and Mike both swear to me that if I ever (so help me) think running a marathon in winter again....well.....they'll do something to me. something bad.


let's just leave it at that.