Thursday, February 27, 2014

Laws of Attraction Part Deux

When I wrote the Laws of Attraction post, I never expected it to get the number of comments that I got. (Not just on the post itself but on social media and via email).

The one that got the most attention was the female/male friendship section. I am so glad that so many people really feel the same way that I do.

Sadly, I have an update for you. The woman in that post told me yesterday that she is filing for divorce, quitting her job and moving.

FIRST, I want to make one thing very clear. I knew her well. I was not at all surprised that she is getting divorced. This has nothing to do with her "triathlon spouse".

Second....this news hit me really hard.

This is going to sound crazy, but I felt terrible for her and her tri-spouse. She is splitting with husband, but like I said....I wasn't even surprised. Things have been wrong there for a year. Yet by moving, she is also splitting from her tri-spouse. Granted, they will still talk, but there is something about having that person physically with you, being able to run or swim or race together.

She's basically losing two people (in addition to say people like ME....who were training partners).

When she went over everything, I felt my heart sink. I haven't hidden my feelings about my break up with Coach Mike. I haven't hidden how hurt I was. For awhile, every time I'd hear something or read something, I'd think "Oh, I have to tell Mike about this!" It was usually about something we'd previously talked about.

Then, the reality would set in, and I realized....that I couldn't. I tried to contact him, and he ignored me. I congratulated him on his Coach of the Year, and he went out of his way to ignore me. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment.....well, I'm not really. I explained all that in this post .

He didn't want me in his life anymore. It wasn't even that he didn't want me in his life; it was that he was acting like I didn't exist anymore. Throughout this whole time, that was the part that I struggled with the most.

It was all those feelings that came back when I was talking to her. She is experiencing a loss. I know how much it hurts.

I guess, the moral to the story is that as great as those relationships can be, they hurt like hell when they end.

For the most part, things are ok for me now. I just have those moments, like this week, when I heard about her news....and he was the first person I thought of calling.

I don't know what I will do when I see him. I don't know. I don't know if I will stare stupidly with my mouth gaping. I don't know. I'm just going to have to be me; whatever that means.

Over time, all this will go away, but I wouldn't be human if I didn't have these feelings.