I was already to write a re-cap of my weekend when I read LBTEPA's new blogpost. I know many of you already read her blog. I don't think she even realizes how many people she positively affects with her humor and honesty as she's been going through a very challenging year.
If you're reading this LBTEPA, you really are something special.
What did she do that affected me so much? She asked very simple questions:
What do you want? And how do you plan to get it?
I have a couple of new readers to my blog. For the rest of you, you can skip this part because you all have been reading this or my previous blog since 2005.
After struggling on my own for many years (since 2005), I decided to hire a coach. There are a lot of reasons to hire a coach. This was mine. I'd see very many (small as in seconds) improvements year to year in each event. I didn't want or need to be first or even top 10 in my age group. Why couldn't I even get to 50%? That's it. That's why I started looking into coaching.
When Mike and I first started working together, I guess I was naive as to what that really meant. To answer LBTEPA's question, I wanted to work on my speed then add distance to get me back to Ironman.
Beyond that, I had no idea what my strengths even were. I mean, how do you choose your best event when you suck at all three sports? I'm all about having fun. I'd be lying to you if I said that I was having "fun". It wasn't fun. What kept me going was the thought that maybe I *could* get faster and be stronger.
That brings us up to this weekend. Thursday was really hard workout day. I had Friday off. Saturday I had a sprint race planned, and Sunday was a 2.4 mile ows race and 70 minute run.
I need to go off on a tangent for a minute. Let me vent. I had THREE people, THREE, tell me that I was doing too much over those 4 days. I have a COACH. We talked about it. If he thought any of the workouts were a bad idea, he would have told me. I thought the workouts would be a good idea. If it was too much, I could just STOP.
Just because it's a volume that YOU couldn't do, don't assume that I can't.
I realize that it was a lot of swimming. I love open water. There are few things that I enjoy as much as open water swimming.
The nugget to all of this was that all THREE are currently training for IRONMAN.
uh whut?
Thanks for that vent.
On Saturday morning, I felt really good.I felt great. After Molly's race last week, I wanted to place. This is sort of funny. I've never placed in a sprint. This particular race (because of the set up) wasn't going to be in my favor. There is a lot of running. Three transitions and a half a mile run to the water (down a very steep hill and then back up the same hill).
Still, I wanted to place. Of course, I wanted to PR, but at this point in my training with my swim and bike speeds, I felt pretty confident that I'd PR.
My real goal was to go as hard as I could on the bike. I wanted to be number 1. I was last year in my last two races. I wanted to do it again by a bigger margin.
All of you reading this, you get special privileged information. That means when I'm feeling bad, you know.
But what you don't see is how I am at a race. It's all in good fun, and I have no problem being beat in a race. But I'm cocky as hell.
When I say, "You're going to have to have your best race to beat me on the bike". I mean it. I really feel that way.
At the end the race, I knew by my garmin time that I PR'd across the board. What I didn't know is where I was. All I knew was that a woman in my ag passed me with less than a half a mile left on the run.
What I found out later was that she came in first. I had no idea that I was in first place the entire time. I beat her on the swim/bike/transitions. She caught me in the last half a mile of the run.
You might think that I'd be kicking myself, but I'm not. It was a last minute registration, and fair and square she beat me on the run and deserves the first place. I got something much bigger. I have a better idea of gauging my effort on the bike, and I know what I need to do on my run.
I got home, and Jordan asked me how I did. I told him that I killed the bike and came in an easy 6 minutes faster than the woman who came in first, and I beat her on the swim.
And he said, "How did you do that? You used to suck on the bike. How did you turn your bike around?"
I understood for the FIRST time that I can see my strengths now, but not in the sense of "speed".
I don't yet know if I am better at the bike or the swim. I haven't done a good job yet of really going hard on the swim. I have to work on that. On the other hand, I know I can go hard right from the start of the bike without worrying about running out of gas (for this distance).
What I do know, though, is that I'll be first or second on the bike and swim. I know that. For the swim, the ability is there, I just have to use it correctly....which I haven't done yet.
As for the run, it's still coming around. I executed better this time, and I got faster each mile. I just didn't start out fast enough.
In other words, I have to take the mentality that I have on the bike and just apply it to my swim and run.
I have a comfort on the bike. I have no fear. I don't think about being tired or out of breath. I just ride as hard as I can. I don't even look at my watch.
Believe it or not, all of this has a point.
Sunday morning rolls around, and I can feel my sprint race and thursday's workouts. My body is tired.
I'm standing on the shore looking at the course. It's 2 loops of 1.2 miles. I'm staring at the course, and I remembered standing at the start of my very first triathlon. It was Danskin. I looked over the 750m course, and I was shaking. I was so scared. The swim took me 25:13 to finish.
And then I thought of the last time that I lined up to swim 2.4 miles: at CDA.
And I thought about my race yesterday.
I thought, "I'm not even the same person that lined up at those races, anymore."
Sunday, my plan was "support system". I was there with a bunch of my masters swim team. Of the group, there were only 4 of us doing the 2.4 miles. Our Coach: Nicole, and then Suz, Shelle and me. This was going to be suzanne's first 2.4 mile ows. She was terrified. I could tell. She's a great swimmer. This was not going to be an issue for her. BUT....I remember Danskin.
I told her that I wasn't sure if I could keep up today, but for her to draft off of Shelle. I'd hang with them as long as I could.
Shelle asked how long I thought it would take. I told her: For you, 1:00-1:05. Suzanne 1;10-1:15. I'm going for 1:20. Of course, they looked at me like I was crazy. Don't we all do that? Of course, I started thinking about all of the times that Coach told me a pace or finish time, and I thought HE was nuts.
For the first loop, I wanted to go slow, and it sure felt SLOW. So slow, in fact, that I thought when I get to the halfway mark, I HAVE to look at my watch. This is ridiculous. I have to be moving backward, my biceps were starting to feel it. My legs were fine, but my goal was to only kick lightly until I get closer to the finish. I just felt TIRED.
At halfway, I kept thinking, "It's gotta be 50 minutes." I know that's not realistic, but what can I say? No one was even around me. There were no markers to give us any idea how fast we were moving. I did 1.2 miles in 38 minutes. I was shocked. I was right on target. I stopped for a minute at the halfway mark to find out where everyone was. It was almost impossible to see anyone with the sun. We were all spread out.
The second loop was over before I realized it. I started kicking with a little less than a half mile left. I saw Shelle and Suz on shore screaming for me. Supposedly, there's a video of me getting out of the water. It's probably a Youtube.com sensation by now.
Shelle finished in 1:02
Suz finished in 1:12
I finished in 1:19:50
We all sat down and had some snacks, and then I had to leave to go do my run. I'm definitely no super-athlete because that run was HARD. REALLY hard. Maybe it was only hard in the beginning, but it was hot out.
I did, however, DO IT. Even though, I said I wouldn't do it.
Just so you all know....the last time I did a 2.4 mile swim was CDA, and my time was in the 1:43 range. Yesterday was a 24 minute PR.
THAT brings me back to LBTEPA's questions.
What do you want? And how do you plan to get it?
I DON'T KNOW.
I have some goals, but they're random and not at all organized.
I know I could do a 1:10 2.4 mile swim, but I want to get to 1:05.
I want to run a half marathon in under 2 hours.
I want to do an Oly bike (40K) in 1:10.
I want to run a 5k (off the bike) in 28 minutes.
I think all of these goals are reasonable, some (like the half marathon and 5k) being quite a bit more difficult than others.
Since I've been training with Mike, my goals have changed, but I don't know what they've changed "to".
I don't know if I'll do Ironman again. I think I'll probably do a half though, but not until I break 2 hours on the half marathon.
In the long run, I guess it doesn't really matter what I do because now I'm having fun doing it.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Switch it change it rearrange it
I think (I hope) most of you know that I use my blog to rant some times. It doesn't mean I hate life or training or anything like that. Some times I just need to let it out. I can't rant it Mr. Tea. He doesn't really want to hear about my ups and downs of training.
So, I do it here. It's a safe place, right? Not many people have access to it, so I don't have to worry about anyone thinking I'm a nut-case.
IT'S PART OF TRAINING. I can't point to ONE of my friends who go through a training cycle thinking everything is peachy keene.
How many times have I yelled about hating running? Or cycling? Or how many times have I quit altogether? Probably 10 times just in the last week.
There ya go.
Another rant to click off my list.
The THING I really wanted to talk about today on the Tea Show is nutrition because I'm quite pleased with how things are working out for me lately.
A few things you should know:
1.) I hate counting calories
2.) I know. I really needed to lose some weight. I know. Not for me.....for the people WATCHING ME RACE. For God's sake there are children watching!
No one should have to see that.
3.) I'm just not a fan of the scale.
4.) I've never been one to jump on any bandwagon: no low carb, no gluten free, no low fat, etc.
Keep in mind: These are just my little oddities. The sooner you make peace with my weirdness, the better we will get along.
But, I was stuck. It was really making me crazy. Nothing was working for me, and everything required counting calories. UGH. UGH. NO. I'm not going to be a slave to MYFITNESSPAL.
This whole losing fat thing made me crazy because I eat so well. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? Am I eating too much? Too little? WHAT??? (I Yelled raising my fists to the heavens).
I eat pretty clean. No processed foods and organic when possible. I cook alot. I cook every meal.
I really believe that there's no one size fits all approach. We're all different heights, genders, have different body composition....(mine of course consisting of 65% total hottie and 35% scaring the children---or maybe that's backward...anyway).
DISCLAIMER
YOU'RE GORGEOUS AND LOOK FANTASTIC IN SPANDEX. Therefore, what I write next is strictly about ME.
I picked up the book "Racing Weight".
And the skies parted
And the sun was shining down on me like an angel
FINALLY! A program that makes SENSE.
Without counting calories.
Without jumping on any new weight loss bandwagon.
I've been reading the book for about 3 weeks now. (Hey, I'm a busy person). Honestly, I feel really great. I feel like I can give more in my workouts now. I can go longer, and I recover faster.
And I have lost some fat, but I still haven't gotten on the scale. I can see it. Don't tell anyone, but I looked at myself naked. That's how I know.
I'm not all the way through the book. I implemented pieces slower (a week at a time). My goal is to get leaner to get faster. It's not to lose weight just so I can see a certain number on the scale.
Here's the best part....it's easy for me. At this point, dealing with family issues and some work stress, I really need easy.
So that's it. At the end of July, I have my A race...super favorite race. By that time, I will be doing this for almost two months. It'll be a great test for me. By that time my training will be working for almost 2 months (significantly better than it had been going for my last two races) and my new nutrition plan will have been in place for awhile.
Hopefully, I'll see good results on race day.
(shhhhh, I'm also racing this weekend. Saturday and Sunday. If I'm not crying by the end of the weekend, I'll tell you all about it. I'm sure you'll be waiting with bated breath).
So, I do it here. It's a safe place, right? Not many people have access to it, so I don't have to worry about anyone thinking I'm a nut-case.
IT'S PART OF TRAINING. I can't point to ONE of my friends who go through a training cycle thinking everything is peachy keene.
How many times have I yelled about hating running? Or cycling? Or how many times have I quit altogether? Probably 10 times just in the last week.
There ya go.
Another rant to click off my list.
The THING I really wanted to talk about today on the Tea Show is nutrition because I'm quite pleased with how things are working out for me lately.
A few things you should know:
1.) I hate counting calories
2.) I know. I really needed to lose some weight. I know. Not for me.....for the people WATCHING ME RACE. For God's sake there are children watching!
No one should have to see that.
3.) I'm just not a fan of the scale.
4.) I've never been one to jump on any bandwagon: no low carb, no gluten free, no low fat, etc.
Keep in mind: These are just my little oddities. The sooner you make peace with my weirdness, the better we will get along.
But, I was stuck. It was really making me crazy. Nothing was working for me, and everything required counting calories. UGH. UGH. NO. I'm not going to be a slave to MYFITNESSPAL.
This whole losing fat thing made me crazy because I eat so well. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? Am I eating too much? Too little? WHAT??? (I Yelled raising my fists to the heavens).
I eat pretty clean. No processed foods and organic when possible. I cook alot. I cook every meal.
I really believe that there's no one size fits all approach. We're all different heights, genders, have different body composition....(mine of course consisting of 65% total hottie and 35% scaring the children---or maybe that's backward...anyway).
DISCLAIMER
YOU'RE GORGEOUS AND LOOK FANTASTIC IN SPANDEX. Therefore, what I write next is strictly about ME.
I picked up the book "Racing Weight".
And the skies parted
And the sun was shining down on me like an angel
FINALLY! A program that makes SENSE.
Without counting calories.
Without jumping on any new weight loss bandwagon.
I've been reading the book for about 3 weeks now. (Hey, I'm a busy person). Honestly, I feel really great. I feel like I can give more in my workouts now. I can go longer, and I recover faster.
And I have lost some fat, but I still haven't gotten on the scale. I can see it. Don't tell anyone, but I looked at myself naked. That's how I know.
I'm not all the way through the book. I implemented pieces slower (a week at a time). My goal is to get leaner to get faster. It's not to lose weight just so I can see a certain number on the scale.
Here's the best part....it's easy for me. At this point, dealing with family issues and some work stress, I really need easy.
So that's it. At the end of July, I have my A race...super favorite race. By that time, I will be doing this for almost two months. It'll be a great test for me. By that time my training will be working for almost 2 months (significantly better than it had been going for my last two races) and my new nutrition plan will have been in place for awhile.
Hopefully, I'll see good results on race day.
(shhhhh, I'm also racing this weekend. Saturday and Sunday. If I'm not crying by the end of the weekend, I'll tell you all about it. I'm sure you'll be waiting with bated breath).
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Race "assessment"
I sent an email to my Coach, and this is basically it.
BTW-- Ball sucker refers to Horsetooth reservoir. After the race, Coach texted me, and my reply was, "Horsetooth sucks big fat balls".
I
really loved this race. The organization was awesome. The course was
beautiful....(although that's what got me in trouble twice on the bike).
It's one that I would like to do again. It might
just go on my calendar next year....and maybe I'll ride the ball sucker
once or twice before it. :) Hill repeats anyone?
The reason I hadn't done it in the past is because it is about 1.5 hour drive. I ended up being in the 2nd wave (which was AWESOME). FOR ONCE! Thanks goodness the RD is an older woman. SHE UNDERSTANDS. So yea. 2nd wave with the 45-49 Men. That meant that I had to be on the road by 3:30am.
I have absolutely NOTHING bad to say about this race. Parking was like my Aunt T.....ample. Post race food was fantastic. Unbelievable volunteers. Except for one woman driver, the town of Loveland seems to support and embrace the race. Throughout the course, people were sitting on the driveways cheering for us. One guy had a hose out offering to spray us down on the run.
This race is a MUST-do.
Swim: 1500M
Coach and I had a plan for the swim: Go out fast and gain position.
My ows swims had been "meh". Over the past 2 weeks, I've hit the open water a bunch of times to figure out what was happening. I realized that at around 900m, my form starts to fall apart because that's when I'm typically trying to swim my fastest. Instead, I've been telling myself "strength over speed". It works. It reminds me to focus on my form, and good form = good swim.
The only catch to the swim is that there really is a .25 mile run to transition. Running is my weakness, so it kinda sorta sucks to be out of the water fast only to get passed on the run to T1.
I think you need background info here. My last race was in May. Since that time, I really struggled to get my bike training in. I was doing the short rides, but I was skipping my long rides.
There was a lot of Tea drama going on. I want to stress this: I am not special. I'm not different than anyone else. We all have stress in our lives. I wanted to stress this point because Bill's comment to me was basically "Sounds like life to me." I felt like I must have come across as a Drama Queen in my last post. Triathlon is considerably harder than single sport training, from a scheduling perspective.
I had been unsuccessful in figuring out what was going to work. My work-work was going through an extremely bad time.I couldn't figure out WHY I couldn't get my tri-training in. I MUST be a wuss. Everyone else can do it.
Then Coach and I had a talk. and another talk. and another talk. Over the period of about a week, we figured out how I could get all my training in.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because this all came down about 2 weeks ago. I've only been seriously doing bike training for 2 weeks. And I was heading into this:
Normally, ^^THIS^^ is not an issue. 1.) I'm good at climbing and 2.) Bike is my strength. 3.) The 2nd half is rollers. Those are what I do best.
Back to the race report:
Coach told me, "Take it easy on the first 15 miles. Go easier than you think you should".
This bike course isn't bad at all. It's the stretch from about 14 to 16 that is tough, made even more difficult by my lack of training.
Horsetooth was tough, but honestly, I built it up to be
horrible. I'd read so many people's blogs about how difficult it was. Yes.
It is tough, but what goes up must go down. I just keep thinking about
the prize on the other side. Not one woman passed me on the way up, so I
figured I was doing about average. I'd be concerned if, all of a
sudden, I was being passed like crazy. That didn't happen (except for
the young guys catching me).
One really GREAT
thing happened! At the end of every race, someone beats me. She comes
from behind and passes me, and I just give up. A woman passed me, and I
could only think "Not today!" I wanted to not just catch her but pass
her. I DID! It wasn't very far (maybe 50meters?) but I ran with
everything I had left. I'm not kidding. That was kind of fun.
In the end, passing some random woman at the end of a race, doesn't mean anything. It was nice to find strength in there somewhere to do that, when I'd never done it before. Seems to work pretty well. :)
For the record, Lovelan L2L was a 3:41 PR on a bike course that was 30 miles instead of 24.8.
I'm thrilled!
This is where I am: I have a sprint in two weeks. I just signed up for it. I'm using it to gauge how much improvement I've had over the past year. It will be more like a training day.
My training has been spot on for the past 2 weeks, and it'll continue like that. I'm really happy that we got it all figured out.
Today....is a rest day. Total rest. I'm not sure what Coach has planned for me, but I have a feeling the next few weeks are going to be insane.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Trust
It's really hard to start a post about trust because there are so many different levels.
From the very basic level, blog readers! Ha! If you are reading this, it means there is a certain level of trust that I have with you. There are times when I need you to kick me in the butt, and there are times when I just need you to listen to me be irrationally mad. There are times when I don't have the confidence to do the things I want, but you all just manage to say the right thing or make me laugh or bring me back to reality.
Then there are deeper friendships. Although I really don't like social media, and you have heard my rants, there is a good to it all. It's put me in touch with people, who....if you lived closer, I believe we'd get along smashingly. It's also put me in touch with a couple of old college friends, and like Vegas....if it happened in the dorm, it stayed in the dorm. No vows necessary. It was an unwritten rule, and we can all laugh about the stories now.
I have a very small circle of very good friends. In fact, I can count them on one hand. I prefer it that way. These people know my sense of humor. It's completely off color and usually has a lot to do with sex. In other words, about the level of a teenager.
THESE people know me better than I know myself. When I get wrapped up in life or stress, and I am ready to throw in the towel, these are the people who say, "Come on we can do this. You've come this far. Don't quit now."
Even though I say I want to quit. I don't really. I just don't think I can handle anymore.
For about a month, I've been working on my "schedules".
I'm 45....and in case you haven't noticed, I'm of the female variety. I won't bore you with all of the hormonal challenges that presents. I truly feel bad for all of the men who are dealing with this issue with their Significant others.
If it makes you feel any better, she can't control it. It's a horrible feeling being completely out of control of your emotions. For me, the worst part is the "rage" and the sleep issues. Please try to remember this when she is going through it.
Anything can set her off. Anything. You can simply ask her if she wants sugar in her coffee. It's not you. And yes, she feels horrible about it after it passes.
This isn't a blog post about hormones though. Fortunately for me, I have it.....not controlled.....maybe "maintained" is a better word. At the end of last year, I was at wits end. I started using a hormone cream to get me back to normal, but I'm not really a fan of using hormones. So, I did a lot of reading and went completely organic, non-processed, new water filters, personal care items, etc. It took about 3 months when I was able to go off the cream. For me, this is what works. Not everyone can do this, and I understand this.
But hormones aren't a perfect science, and I still have moments. However, I've gotten much better at knowing when it's a hormone issue or when it's a stress issue.
This brings me back to the issue of trust. I have a hard time trusting people, but I'm fortunate to have a few people in my life who I do trust.
They will accept me whether I am happy or angry or sad or whatever other mood is thrown at me.
For a month, I've been working on my work schedule and sleep schedule and training schedule. I can't get anything to jive. I move workouts around. I move work around. I'm tired all the time.
Last week was my breaking point.
I wanted to throw everything away. I didn't want to listen to anyone anymore.
Yesterday, two different people who I trust, said two completely different things, and not at all related to my life.....so to speak. (It was and it wasn't). I've found that it's often these little comments said in an offhand kind of way, that get to me. I wasn't looking for advice, and they weren't giving it. Sometimes, I just need the encouragement. Sometimes, it's the simple fact that someone shows that they care. It doesn't matter what they actually said.
And as tired as I was and as guarded and tightly wound as I was, the message got through.
It's physics, equal and opposite forces. Or if you recently read one of the triathlon focused magazines, it's the "knot in the rubber band". The more you stretch it, the tighter the knot gets.
To loosen the knot, you have to let go.
I can't fight it.
I have to go with it.
Some of the things that are going on in my life, I wouldn't have chosen, but it's what I have to work with.
I can work against them. Or I can work with them.....I really don't want to quit.
This is my perfectly imperfect life.
From the very basic level, blog readers! Ha! If you are reading this, it means there is a certain level of trust that I have with you. There are times when I need you to kick me in the butt, and there are times when I just need you to listen to me be irrationally mad. There are times when I don't have the confidence to do the things I want, but you all just manage to say the right thing or make me laugh or bring me back to reality.
Then there are deeper friendships. Although I really don't like social media, and you have heard my rants, there is a good to it all. It's put me in touch with people, who....if you lived closer, I believe we'd get along smashingly. It's also put me in touch with a couple of old college friends, and like Vegas....if it happened in the dorm, it stayed in the dorm. No vows necessary. It was an unwritten rule, and we can all laugh about the stories now.
I have a very small circle of very good friends. In fact, I can count them on one hand. I prefer it that way. These people know my sense of humor. It's completely off color and usually has a lot to do with sex. In other words, about the level of a teenager.
THESE people know me better than I know myself. When I get wrapped up in life or stress, and I am ready to throw in the towel, these are the people who say, "Come on we can do this. You've come this far. Don't quit now."
Even though I say I want to quit. I don't really. I just don't think I can handle anymore.
For about a month, I've been working on my "schedules".
I'm 45....and in case you haven't noticed, I'm of the female variety. I won't bore you with all of the hormonal challenges that presents. I truly feel bad for all of the men who are dealing with this issue with their Significant others.
If it makes you feel any better, she can't control it. It's a horrible feeling being completely out of control of your emotions. For me, the worst part is the "rage" and the sleep issues. Please try to remember this when she is going through it.
Anything can set her off. Anything. You can simply ask her if she wants sugar in her coffee. It's not you. And yes, she feels horrible about it after it passes.
This isn't a blog post about hormones though. Fortunately for me, I have it.....not controlled.....maybe "maintained" is a better word. At the end of last year, I was at wits end. I started using a hormone cream to get me back to normal, but I'm not really a fan of using hormones. So, I did a lot of reading and went completely organic, non-processed, new water filters, personal care items, etc. It took about 3 months when I was able to go off the cream. For me, this is what works. Not everyone can do this, and I understand this.
But hormones aren't a perfect science, and I still have moments. However, I've gotten much better at knowing when it's a hormone issue or when it's a stress issue.
This brings me back to the issue of trust. I have a hard time trusting people, but I'm fortunate to have a few people in my life who I do trust.
They will accept me whether I am happy or angry or sad or whatever other mood is thrown at me.
For a month, I've been working on my work schedule and sleep schedule and training schedule. I can't get anything to jive. I move workouts around. I move work around. I'm tired all the time.
Last week was my breaking point.
I wanted to throw everything away. I didn't want to listen to anyone anymore.
Yesterday, two different people who I trust, said two completely different things, and not at all related to my life.....so to speak. (It was and it wasn't). I've found that it's often these little comments said in an offhand kind of way, that get to me. I wasn't looking for advice, and they weren't giving it. Sometimes, I just need the encouragement. Sometimes, it's the simple fact that someone shows that they care. It doesn't matter what they actually said.
And as tired as I was and as guarded and tightly wound as I was, the message got through.
It's physics, equal and opposite forces. Or if you recently read one of the triathlon focused magazines, it's the "knot in the rubber band". The more you stretch it, the tighter the knot gets.
To loosen the knot, you have to let go.
I can't fight it.
I have to go with it.
Some of the things that are going on in my life, I wouldn't have chosen, but it's what I have to work with.
I can work against them. Or I can work with them.....I really don't want to quit.
This is my perfectly imperfect life.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Would you rather "place" and miss your goals? Or would you rather hit your goals and come in last? I've thought about this a lot over the past few days.
In true form, the saga continues.
Let's recap the past couple of months:
1.) Work was really busy.
2.) I quit cycling. (Maybe it was only for a day, but I DID quit).
3.) The cycling that I did was on the trainer. I didn't get on the road until a week ago.
4.) No open water swimming places have been open. All my swimming has been in the pool. But, it's been really good.
5.) I'm still very happy with where my running is going.
6.) Coach still hasn't fired me.
This year, I'm making the move to the Olympic distance. There hasn't been a day gone by that I've thought I made the wrong decision.
Still, there I was on May 19th ready to do this race....not a big race for me. It was more about doing the distance and getting a feel for being on a course for a long time again.
Goals: I had goals ranging from 2:35-2:55.
Immediately before we got into the water, the RD announces that we're running a completely different route.
WHAT?
He says, instead of going along the reservoir and turning right, you're turning left....and well, there are hills. Lot's of hills.
uh whut?
Too late.....the swim is starting.
The swim:
Cut to the chase: I just plain swam too slow. The first lap (750m) in 14 minutes was fine. My goal was to get faster on the second lap. I never really got out of the "taking it easy mode". I, also, got wrapped up with this one guy for a bit. I just couldn't get away from him. My triathlete friends know what I'm talking about.
T1: Pretty decent run uphill to T1. (Aren't they all though?) The difference nowadays is that I've figure out how to RUN this without killing myself. Since run is my weakness, I rip the wetsuit off right when I get out of the water. This makes it easier for me to run. First time ever, I actually caught up to people and wasn't passed.
Simple pleasures.....that's a pretty big improvement to me.
The bike:
This is where things get good. The bike (being my strength).....YET, I haven't done a whole lot of training. I thought worst case 1:30, best case 1:20. A few minutes after being on the bike, I noticed that my garmin wasn't displaying anything except time elapsed.
I messed with it for awhile then gave up. AWESOME. I have no idea how far I'm going, what my speed is, what my cadence is or what my heart rate is. The funny thing about this is that not even two weeks ago, I'd mentioned to coach that I did a training ride by "feel" because "What happens if my Garmin stops working mid-race?"
As it turns out, this is a very small race. I'm riding, and I passed a lot of people. I look up, and there's no one in front of me. I glance backwards and no one is behind me.
And I have no idea where I'm going. I'm glancing down different turns looking for other cyclists.
Nothing. I glance at my watch and I *think* it says 30 min. I make the decision to ride about 5-6 more minutes and turn around.
At 5-6 minutes with still no one in site....I decided to turn around and head back.
As I'm riding back, still no athletes....I'm starting to think "I'm f*cked. I'm out in the middle of no where. I have no cell phone. No idea where I am. Not even a freaking good ole boy that I could flag down."
Just then, I see the turn that I missed. As I was focused on the upcoming turn, I missed a hole in the ground that I hit at about 35 mph and heard the bike crunch.
WTF? I manage to stay up on the bike. My water bottle goes bouncing far far away.
And, I haven't seen one single aid station on the course.
I'm completely rattled.
At this point, I have a decision to make. I have no water. I've already gone off course by who knows how much.
Do I cut the course, call it a day, and take my DQ? Or do I continue on?
"You should just call it a day. Head back. You're not going to place anyway."
"Who said I wanted to place? I just wanted to hit my goals. Those are probably out the window now too. Especially after that slow swim"
"BUT....you still have a chance to PR"
"How do you know that? I have NO IDEA how long I've been out here. I have no idea how far I went off course."
I don't care. I'm continuing on with the race, even if it means I come in last.
I start following people....people that I passed in the first 10 minutes of the race.
How am I going to explain my bike time to Coach?
All I wanted was to finally show everyone that I REALLY AM FAST ON THE BIKE.
Now, it's a waste of time. Here I am trying to play catch up. Best case scenario, I have to be out here for over 1:30. Mr. Tea is GOING TO FREAK. HE hates long races.
WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP? PLEASE?
You could have quit. You could have turned around, but YOU DECIDED TO CONTINUE ON WITH THE RACE.
SO, IF YOU DON'T MIND WE HAVE A BIKE RACE TO FINISH HERE.
fine.
I catch up to a women and ask if she knows what the race time is. ANYTHING to give me an idea of how long I've been out there.
She doesn't know.
I keep riding.
As I pull into the lake, I see Mr. Tea. As I pass him, I SCREAM OUT "WHAT'S MY RACE TIME?'
He gives me this look as if to say "What are you talking about? Look at your garmin."
I dismount and start running toward T2. As I get there, I yell to the guy "Any idea what time it is?"
PLEASE SOMEONE! CAN SOMEONE EVEN TELL ME WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS?
He doesn't know either. I look at T2. SO MANY BIKES. I must have been one of the last off the course.
It's cool. Whatever. I take my time in T2. I am horribly thirsty after losing my water bottle. I see Mr. Tea. I ask him again, "What was my bike time. I'm riding blind. I went off course. I have no information."
He says, "1:24"
I take off running.
1:24.
That's not even possible.
I went off course....by my estimate....about 3 miles. There's no way. Sure 1:24 for 40K is MEH.
But 1:24 for close to 28 miles? With the amount of bike training I did? Damn. That's a pretty huge PR.
I start running. When I hit the first downhill and looked up at the monstrous hill that I was about to climb....the only thought in my head was
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. I see 10 people ahead of me. They were all walking the hill.
I immediately think "I'm not walking this hill dammit. I'm going to run. No matter how hard."
Halfway up. I started walking.
That's pretty much how the race went. UP and Down. The only easy way to get through it was to keep moving forward, whether you had to walk or run slow.
There comes a time in every race when you know that you are going to hit your goals or not.
On the run, I knew my shot at 2:35-2:55 was completely blown.
BUT....I COULD still PR. I just had to maintain better than 12:00 pace. The swim was a 4 minute PR. The bike was a PR (even going off course).
I was now chasing a PR. The only way I was going to beat it was by running. I couldn't walk anymore hills. This was it.
I started talking to some of the other runners. I ran with a woman for awhile. We talked for a bit then I picked up the pace and wished her good luck.
For the remainder of the run, I talked with another woman (who I later discovered was 2nd in my AG).
We ran the last two miles together, talking and grunting and pushing each other to get up each hill.
When I crossed the finish line, I grabbed my water bottle and sat down. My legs were shot.
STILL....having NO IDEA what my time was. There was no clock at the finish. I'm thinking it was a PR but a small one.
A PR none the less.
Not exactly the times I wanted, but the times I got.
I sat there thinking about what I did right and what I did wrong.
The crazy thing....
I felt pretty damn good about it all.
The announcement was made that the awards ceremony was taking place. Due to a miscommunication with Mr. Tea, I had no idea where he was, and I decided to watch the awards ceremony.
The RD is going through all of the Age groups, and he SKIPS FEMALE 45-49.
WHAT? I've got to find the results. Did they have me in the wrong AG?
He doesn't say anything about it. I run to find the results table.
Sure enough....there are NO results for my Age group.
Why isn't my ag here? Then it occurs to me....
There are women still on the course.
I COULD HAVE PLACED. As ridiculous as it sounds, because trust me....at this point, EVERYTHING except coming in last sounds pretty crazy.
I go running back to the awards ceremony. The RD is announcing the last of the male winners and he says, "We now have the results of the women's 45-49 category. It was almost a photo-finish as the top three women came in within a minute of each other."
In 3rd place with a time of 3:18....and he announces my name.
For the first time all day, I now know that I PR'd. A 12 minute PR.
I'm stunned. I go stumbling up to the front. I say "thank you" and smile for the photog.
But all I could think of was, "I don't deserve this."
There must have only been 3 women in my AG, right?
I should have been happy, right?
I've told Coach this over and over...it's hard to be happy about a race when it wasn't my best effort.
Later in the day, I found out there were 7 women in my AG. It was a *real* placing.
Still, I don't feel like I deserve it. I can be faster and better. This was a "B" race for me. It was my starter kit. I messed up. So many things went wrong. I can swim better. I can ride better. I can definitely run better.
So.
Where do I stand now?
FIRED UP, DAMMIT! I WANT A SECOND CHANCE!
In true form, the saga continues.
Let's recap the past couple of months:
1.) Work was really busy.
2.) I quit cycling. (Maybe it was only for a day, but I DID quit).
3.) The cycling that I did was on the trainer. I didn't get on the road until a week ago.
4.) No open water swimming places have been open. All my swimming has been in the pool. But, it's been really good.
5.) I'm still very happy with where my running is going.
6.) Coach still hasn't fired me.
This year, I'm making the move to the Olympic distance. There hasn't been a day gone by that I've thought I made the wrong decision.
Still, there I was on May 19th ready to do this race....not a big race for me. It was more about doing the distance and getting a feel for being on a course for a long time again.
Goals: I had goals ranging from 2:35-2:55.
Immediately before we got into the water, the RD announces that we're running a completely different route.
WHAT?
He says, instead of going along the reservoir and turning right, you're turning left....and well, there are hills. Lot's of hills.
uh whut?
Too late.....the swim is starting.
The swim:
Cut to the chase: I just plain swam too slow. The first lap (750m) in 14 minutes was fine. My goal was to get faster on the second lap. I never really got out of the "taking it easy mode". I, also, got wrapped up with this one guy for a bit. I just couldn't get away from him. My triathlete friends know what I'm talking about.
T1: Pretty decent run uphill to T1. (Aren't they all though?) The difference nowadays is that I've figure out how to RUN this without killing myself. Since run is my weakness, I rip the wetsuit off right when I get out of the water. This makes it easier for me to run. First time ever, I actually caught up to people and wasn't passed.
Simple pleasures.....that's a pretty big improvement to me.
The bike:
This is where things get good. The bike (being my strength).....YET, I haven't done a whole lot of training. I thought worst case 1:30, best case 1:20. A few minutes after being on the bike, I noticed that my garmin wasn't displaying anything except time elapsed.
I messed with it for awhile then gave up. AWESOME. I have no idea how far I'm going, what my speed is, what my cadence is or what my heart rate is. The funny thing about this is that not even two weeks ago, I'd mentioned to coach that I did a training ride by "feel" because "What happens if my Garmin stops working mid-race?"
As it turns out, this is a very small race. I'm riding, and I passed a lot of people. I look up, and there's no one in front of me. I glance backwards and no one is behind me.
And I have no idea where I'm going. I'm glancing down different turns looking for other cyclists.
Nothing. I glance at my watch and I *think* it says 30 min. I make the decision to ride about 5-6 more minutes and turn around.
At 5-6 minutes with still no one in site....I decided to turn around and head back.
As I'm riding back, still no athletes....I'm starting to think "I'm f*cked. I'm out in the middle of no where. I have no cell phone. No idea where I am. Not even a freaking good ole boy that I could flag down."
Just then, I see the turn that I missed. As I was focused on the upcoming turn, I missed a hole in the ground that I hit at about 35 mph and heard the bike crunch.
WTF? I manage to stay up on the bike. My water bottle goes bouncing far far away.
And, I haven't seen one single aid station on the course.
I'm completely rattled.
At this point, I have a decision to make. I have no water. I've already gone off course by who knows how much.
Do I cut the course, call it a day, and take my DQ? Or do I continue on?
"You should just call it a day. Head back. You're not going to place anyway."
"Who said I wanted to place? I just wanted to hit my goals. Those are probably out the window now too. Especially after that slow swim"
"BUT....you still have a chance to PR"
"How do you know that? I have NO IDEA how long I've been out here. I have no idea how far I went off course."
I don't care. I'm continuing on with the race, even if it means I come in last.
I start following people....people that I passed in the first 10 minutes of the race.
How am I going to explain my bike time to Coach?
All I wanted was to finally show everyone that I REALLY AM FAST ON THE BIKE.
Now, it's a waste of time. Here I am trying to play catch up. Best case scenario, I have to be out here for over 1:30. Mr. Tea is GOING TO FREAK. HE hates long races.
WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP? PLEASE?
You could have quit. You could have turned around, but YOU DECIDED TO CONTINUE ON WITH THE RACE.
SO, IF YOU DON'T MIND WE HAVE A BIKE RACE TO FINISH HERE.
fine.
I catch up to a women and ask if she knows what the race time is. ANYTHING to give me an idea of how long I've been out there.
She doesn't know.
I keep riding.
As I pull into the lake, I see Mr. Tea. As I pass him, I SCREAM OUT "WHAT'S MY RACE TIME?'
He gives me this look as if to say "What are you talking about? Look at your garmin."
I dismount and start running toward T2. As I get there, I yell to the guy "Any idea what time it is?"
PLEASE SOMEONE! CAN SOMEONE EVEN TELL ME WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS?
He doesn't know either. I look at T2. SO MANY BIKES. I must have been one of the last off the course.
It's cool. Whatever. I take my time in T2. I am horribly thirsty after losing my water bottle. I see Mr. Tea. I ask him again, "What was my bike time. I'm riding blind. I went off course. I have no information."
He says, "1:24"
I take off running.
1:24.
That's not even possible.
I went off course....by my estimate....about 3 miles. There's no way. Sure 1:24 for 40K is MEH.
But 1:24 for close to 28 miles? With the amount of bike training I did? Damn. That's a pretty huge PR.
I start running. When I hit the first downhill and looked up at the monstrous hill that I was about to climb....the only thought in my head was
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. I see 10 people ahead of me. They were all walking the hill.
I immediately think "I'm not walking this hill dammit. I'm going to run. No matter how hard."
Halfway up. I started walking.
That's pretty much how the race went. UP and Down. The only easy way to get through it was to keep moving forward, whether you had to walk or run slow.
There comes a time in every race when you know that you are going to hit your goals or not.
On the run, I knew my shot at 2:35-2:55 was completely blown.
BUT....I COULD still PR. I just had to maintain better than 12:00 pace. The swim was a 4 minute PR. The bike was a PR (even going off course).
I was now chasing a PR. The only way I was going to beat it was by running. I couldn't walk anymore hills. This was it.
I started talking to some of the other runners. I ran with a woman for awhile. We talked for a bit then I picked up the pace and wished her good luck.
For the remainder of the run, I talked with another woman (who I later discovered was 2nd in my AG).
We ran the last two miles together, talking and grunting and pushing each other to get up each hill.
When I crossed the finish line, I grabbed my water bottle and sat down. My legs were shot.
STILL....having NO IDEA what my time was. There was no clock at the finish. I'm thinking it was a PR but a small one.
A PR none the less.
Not exactly the times I wanted, but the times I got.
I sat there thinking about what I did right and what I did wrong.
The crazy thing....
I felt pretty damn good about it all.
The announcement was made that the awards ceremony was taking place. Due to a miscommunication with Mr. Tea, I had no idea where he was, and I decided to watch the awards ceremony.
The RD is going through all of the Age groups, and he SKIPS FEMALE 45-49.
WHAT? I've got to find the results. Did they have me in the wrong AG?
He doesn't say anything about it. I run to find the results table.
Sure enough....there are NO results for my Age group.
Why isn't my ag here? Then it occurs to me....
There are women still on the course.
I COULD HAVE PLACED. As ridiculous as it sounds, because trust me....at this point, EVERYTHING except coming in last sounds pretty crazy.
I go running back to the awards ceremony. The RD is announcing the last of the male winners and he says, "We now have the results of the women's 45-49 category. It was almost a photo-finish as the top three women came in within a minute of each other."
In 3rd place with a time of 3:18....and he announces my name.
For the first time all day, I now know that I PR'd. A 12 minute PR.
I'm stunned. I go stumbling up to the front. I say "thank you" and smile for the photog.
But all I could think of was, "I don't deserve this."
There must have only been 3 women in my AG, right?
I should have been happy, right?
I've told Coach this over and over...it's hard to be happy about a race when it wasn't my best effort.
Later in the day, I found out there were 7 women in my AG. It was a *real* placing.
Still, I don't feel like I deserve it. I can be faster and better. This was a "B" race for me. It was my starter kit. I messed up. So many things went wrong. I can swim better. I can ride better. I can definitely run better.
So.
Where do I stand now?
FIRED UP, DAMMIT! I WANT A SECOND CHANCE!
Sunday, May 12, 2013
If life gives you lemons, throw them at someone
I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to my long run.
Yea. Can you believe it? This coming from the "I WILL NEVER RUN A MARATHON EVER AGAIN"
I'm NOT training for a marathon, but the reason I hate them is because of the long run. I like long runs now.
HUGE change of attitude.
I'm not even 10 lines into my post, and I'm already off topic.
The last 2 months have been extremely stressful for me. I've been surviving on so little sleep....I don't know how I'm even functioning. I'm been cranky/irritable/walking in a fog.
so much so that I'm SURE that the people closest to me think I've been PMS'ing for 2 month.
No. I assure you. This isn't normal Tea behavior. YES. I have a dark side. Yes. I can be horribly sarcastic.
But, I think those are my GOOD points.
I've covered that enough. You get it.
Here we are. A week out from my first Olympic distance Tri since 2009. Most of you reading this, remember those days of the *struggle*, the struggle to finish.
I'm past that. I know I am.
BUT, the stress. The stress took a toll on my training. Over the past two months, I can probably count my bike rides on one hand. I've been really good with my swimming. Great in fact.
There have been runs that I've bailed on....you know....you get to a point and realize you don't have the energy to get home. Some people call it the "walk of shame". Walking is never shameful.
Still, I think I've done pretty well with my running.
I'm a week out from my race. I'm concerned. All I wanted was to do well this race, and now I regret signing up for it.
How am I going to do a race in which the ONE THING THAT I FEEL GOOD ABOUT might suck?
Train to your weakness. Race to your strengths.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but the run might just be my strength for this race.
This is what I thought about during my long run. All of this.
I blathered on and on about why this race was going to suck, and it hasn't even happened yet.
That just got me really mad. WTH was I doing? Who's to say the race is going to suck? Yea. Maybe it will. Maybe I won't even come close to my goals. But that hasn't been determined yet. It won't be determined until every second of the race. Even then, it's up to me to decide if the race sucks, right?
Yea. My training hasn't been perfect. Yea. I've missed a number of bikes.
BUT, I've killed it on the swims. I've worked my ass off in the pool. On Wed, I had straight up one solid hour worth of training from one of the master's swim coaches. She gave me detailed, miniscule changes to make. I won't be able to change anything by next weekend, but I CAN focus on my form. I CAN be aware of those changes during the race. I'm already a solid swimmer. But those changes have made me downright fast.
All I have to do is focus.
And swim as F*CKING HARD AS I CAN.
So I've done very little riding and only TWO rides outside. It is what it is. But it's too early for me to just give up. Right?
Fine. I've missed a few workouts, but I've been training consistently for a year. That HAS to count for something, right?
All I have to do is focus.
And ride as F*CKING HARD AS I CAN.
What's it going to be like running a 10K after a swim and bike like that?
WHO THE HELL KNOWS?
WHO THE HELL CARES?
JUST RUN.
STOP analyzing everything. STOP IT.
I was making excuses before I even started taper week.
Here we go....I'm going to work on my attitude this week.
And get ready for a GREAT race.
And This is for SOMEONE
Someone from whom I've learned a lot about perseverance and the importance of a great support network. You've got this LBTEPA.
And THIS one is for ME. I hope Mr. Tea is ready for my race day playlist.
Yea. Can you believe it? This coming from the "I WILL NEVER RUN A MARATHON EVER AGAIN"
I'm NOT training for a marathon, but the reason I hate them is because of the long run. I like long runs now.
HUGE change of attitude.
I'm not even 10 lines into my post, and I'm already off topic.
The last 2 months have been extremely stressful for me. I've been surviving on so little sleep....I don't know how I'm even functioning. I'm been cranky/irritable/walking in a fog.
so much so that I'm SURE that the people closest to me think I've been PMS'ing for 2 month.
No. I assure you. This isn't normal Tea behavior. YES. I have a dark side. Yes. I can be horribly sarcastic.
But, I think those are my GOOD points.
I've covered that enough. You get it.
Here we are. A week out from my first Olympic distance Tri since 2009. Most of you reading this, remember those days of the *struggle*, the struggle to finish.
I'm past that. I know I am.
BUT, the stress. The stress took a toll on my training. Over the past two months, I can probably count my bike rides on one hand. I've been really good with my swimming. Great in fact.
There have been runs that I've bailed on....you know....you get to a point and realize you don't have the energy to get home. Some people call it the "walk of shame". Walking is never shameful.
Still, I think I've done pretty well with my running.
I'm a week out from my race. I'm concerned. All I wanted was to do well this race, and now I regret signing up for it.
How am I going to do a race in which the ONE THING THAT I FEEL GOOD ABOUT might suck?
Train to your weakness. Race to your strengths.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but the run might just be my strength for this race.
This is what I thought about during my long run. All of this.
I blathered on and on about why this race was going to suck, and it hasn't even happened yet.
That just got me really mad. WTH was I doing? Who's to say the race is going to suck? Yea. Maybe it will. Maybe I won't even come close to my goals. But that hasn't been determined yet. It won't be determined until every second of the race. Even then, it's up to me to decide if the race sucks, right?
Yea. My training hasn't been perfect. Yea. I've missed a number of bikes.
BUT, I've killed it on the swims. I've worked my ass off in the pool. On Wed, I had straight up one solid hour worth of training from one of the master's swim coaches. She gave me detailed, miniscule changes to make. I won't be able to change anything by next weekend, but I CAN focus on my form. I CAN be aware of those changes during the race. I'm already a solid swimmer. But those changes have made me downright fast.
All I have to do is focus.
And swim as F*CKING HARD AS I CAN.
So I've done very little riding and only TWO rides outside. It is what it is. But it's too early for me to just give up. Right?
Fine. I've missed a few workouts, but I've been training consistently for a year. That HAS to count for something, right?
All I have to do is focus.
And ride as F*CKING HARD AS I CAN.
What's it going to be like running a 10K after a swim and bike like that?
WHO THE HELL KNOWS?
WHO THE HELL CARES?
JUST RUN.
STOP analyzing everything. STOP IT.
I was making excuses before I even started taper week.
Here we go....I'm going to work on my attitude this week.
And get ready for a GREAT race.
Someone from whom I've learned a lot about perseverance and the importance of a great support network. You've got this LBTEPA.
And THIS one is for ME. I hope Mr. Tea is ready for my race day playlist.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Here Comes the Boom
This post is dedicated to my Twitter Pal Ian.
This post AND this song.
The other day, I read Ian's post about running a marathon. The timing was perfect. I was thinking about all the years that I've spent trying to find myself, figuring what distances I want to do, what distances I can do (based on personal obligations) and then also what different type of racing do I want to do.
Sometimes (ok....many times) what I WANT to do, doesn't line up with what I CAN do.
It causes disruption and stress. How many times have you signed up for a race and only to figure out during training that you really don't have the time to commit to making it a great effort?
Well, I've done that a lot. My time was spent lying to myself, insisting that my fitness level was WAY beyond my actual ability.
I always wanted to be faster or be able to longer. But wanting it isn't always enough.
For the past year and half, I've peeked out from behind my ego and decided to start from square one.
Many of you, I've known for a long time. You've seen my struggles and success. Unfortunately, I think there have been more struggles than success.
That's why I decided to start over.
Last year, when I focused on sprint distance tri's, I had a blast. But, I was unfulfilled. I'll do my best to explain.
For me, a race is a success when I feel like I've given everything and I feel "competitive". Not that I have to place, but that I *feel* like I've found my race.
At the sprint distance, as much as I tried, I can't get up to speed like those women can. At the end of every race, I'd say to Mr. Tea: "If the bike portion was just a little bit longer. I could have caught her. I know it."
That's because once we got to the run, I was dust. I don't have any problem with that. We all have our strengths, and mine is the bike and swim.
It's because my bike and swim are strong that the longer I can be out there, the bigger I can make my lead....the better I'm going to feel about my race.
I don't mind being hunted down on the run, as long as I know that I'm giving everything I've got.
I guess what I'm saying is that I want a fighting chance, and I don't think the sprint gave me that opportunity. It was too short. I need more time for my speed to kick in. On the one sprint with a 20 mile bike, I was first on the bike. FIRST, and I was just getting warmed up. It killed me when I was passing everyone, only to catch two other women and know that I wouldn't be able to catch them on the run. I NEED MORE TIME.
SO---here we are. I've moved up to the Olympic distance this year. (For my non triathlon friends, that's a 1500m swim/40K or just under 25 miles bike/10K run)
As much as I was looking forward to making the jump, I'm nervous about it. Doubling the distance from a sprint to an oly, it seems daunting to me right now.
I've done many many olympic distance triathlons, just like I've done many many sprints. But I never RACED them until last year.
For me, the most important part is the run pacing. I thought I was doing ok until my race last weekend, where I didn't run my best race. Yes, it was a PR for that race, but we all knew it was going to be.
Maybe that sounds like I'm being too hard on myself? But I think all my athlete friends know exactly what I mean....placing and PR's don't mean much if it wasn't a good effort on your part. I guess it's a mixed bad. That's how I felt on Sunday. A few weeks early, I'd run a 10K in a blizzard at a faster pace. So, yea. I got a 5 mile PR, but it didn't reflect my current fitness level.
Now, I'm a couple of weeks out from my first Oly race of the year. Coach Mike MADE me set A, B, C goals....which I didn't want to do. And then, he went through and made them even more challenging! WHAT?!
I mean....that means I might have to deal with DISAPPOINTMENT, people!
I'm going to focus.
On the swim, it's form, form, form and speed.
On the bike, it's HERE COMES THE BOOM.
On the run, pace, pace, pace.....RUN HARD, don't give up.
We'll see where that takes me.
This post AND this song.
The other day, I read Ian's post about running a marathon. The timing was perfect. I was thinking about all the years that I've spent trying to find myself, figuring what distances I want to do, what distances I can do (based on personal obligations) and then also what different type of racing do I want to do.
Sometimes (ok....many times) what I WANT to do, doesn't line up with what I CAN do.
It causes disruption and stress. How many times have you signed up for a race and only to figure out during training that you really don't have the time to commit to making it a great effort?
Well, I've done that a lot. My time was spent lying to myself, insisting that my fitness level was WAY beyond my actual ability.
I always wanted to be faster or be able to longer. But wanting it isn't always enough.
For the past year and half, I've peeked out from behind my ego and decided to start from square one.
Many of you, I've known for a long time. You've seen my struggles and success. Unfortunately, I think there have been more struggles than success.
That's why I decided to start over.
Last year, when I focused on sprint distance tri's, I had a blast. But, I was unfulfilled. I'll do my best to explain.
For me, a race is a success when I feel like I've given everything and I feel "competitive". Not that I have to place, but that I *feel* like I've found my race.
At the sprint distance, as much as I tried, I can't get up to speed like those women can. At the end of every race, I'd say to Mr. Tea: "If the bike portion was just a little bit longer. I could have caught her. I know it."
That's because once we got to the run, I was dust. I don't have any problem with that. We all have our strengths, and mine is the bike and swim.
It's because my bike and swim are strong that the longer I can be out there, the bigger I can make my lead....the better I'm going to feel about my race.
I don't mind being hunted down on the run, as long as I know that I'm giving everything I've got.
I guess what I'm saying is that I want a fighting chance, and I don't think the sprint gave me that opportunity. It was too short. I need more time for my speed to kick in. On the one sprint with a 20 mile bike, I was first on the bike. FIRST, and I was just getting warmed up. It killed me when I was passing everyone, only to catch two other women and know that I wouldn't be able to catch them on the run. I NEED MORE TIME.
SO---here we are. I've moved up to the Olympic distance this year. (For my non triathlon friends, that's a 1500m swim/40K or just under 25 miles bike/10K run)
As much as I was looking forward to making the jump, I'm nervous about it. Doubling the distance from a sprint to an oly, it seems daunting to me right now.
I've done many many olympic distance triathlons, just like I've done many many sprints. But I never RACED them until last year.
For me, the most important part is the run pacing. I thought I was doing ok until my race last weekend, where I didn't run my best race. Yes, it was a PR for that race, but we all knew it was going to be.
Maybe that sounds like I'm being too hard on myself? But I think all my athlete friends know exactly what I mean....placing and PR's don't mean much if it wasn't a good effort on your part. I guess it's a mixed bad. That's how I felt on Sunday. A few weeks early, I'd run a 10K in a blizzard at a faster pace. So, yea. I got a 5 mile PR, but it didn't reflect my current fitness level.
Now, I'm a couple of weeks out from my first Oly race of the year. Coach Mike MADE me set A, B, C goals....which I didn't want to do. And then, he went through and made them even more challenging! WHAT?!
I mean....that means I might have to deal with DISAPPOINTMENT, people!
I'm going to focus.
On the swim, it's form, form, form and speed.
On the bike, it's HERE COMES THE BOOM.
On the run, pace, pace, pace.....RUN HARD, don't give up.
We'll see where that takes me.
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